Update on the whole breaking up situation. His pathetic little “relationship” is falling apart just like we all knew it would and i couldn’t care less.
I have never been so happy in my life. My family say i’m back to who i used to be and im glad that i am. I knew i would have the last laugh.
Starting to make some amazing new friends too and getting back into contact with the old ones i let slip away, which for the record is NEVER going to happen again.
For all those out there that are dealing with heartbreak… hang in there, i know it hurts but trust me if i can get over it so can you.
Hope you all have a very happy new year and stay safe!
I went back to my old school this evening. Walked the way I used to and then remembered where it took me. Today I stood in the exact same place that the most magical beautiful thing ever happened to me. Yet when I stood there, I didn’t feel hurt, anger or even upset, I felt disappointed. Disappointed that you broke every promise you ever made. Disappointed that you let that magic go. Soon you’ll realise but your gonna be too late…
Sorry its been so long but as you can tell by the title ALOT has changed.
On Thursday 29th November 2012 i left my fiancé of 4 years because he simply could not stop cheating on me with someone’s wife who had considered him a friend.
Broken would be the biggest understatement of the century.
But in all honesty… I could see it coming.
You see my now ex got arrested this time last year and got a criminal record for dangerous driving. He had to quit his job because he could no longer get there. Causing him to have to receive benefits whilst on the hunt for a job. This soon got him down and he started to change. Drinking daily, getting aggressive The fact that he has ADHD and aspergers and was not receiving medication didn’t help either. Yet in February this year we decided to move in together, start planning our wedding and get our lives going. We were so happy at first, i had the old him back, he was so lovely and was the exact same boy i fell in love with.
Soon pressure started to build up, like it would with any young couple trying to make it independently. Then suddenly he started to become distant, started arguing with me alot and just got very secretive. My sister soon found out the reason, on a family meal when he left his phone on the table and she picked it up and read messages from this woman. I was devastated but after a night away i realised it was nothing more and went back to him. HUGE MISTAKE!
Since then he has been caught twice more. Once in October, a week after our 4 year anniversary, again just text messages. Then caught again on the 17th November, the day after my birthday. This time i knew there was more, he was discussing private things that happened between me and him with her and was saying how he missed doing those things with her. But silly me i stayed.
Things got really bad, i started cutting, tried to commit suicide 4 times in 2 weeks, yet everytime he found me, he would just laugh and tell me to stop attention seeking. I even told him that i had lost his baby in August and he thought i was sick enough to lie about it. Truth was and still partly is that i gave him everything, i loved him completely and trusted him with all that i had, he knew this and had clearly taken advantage.
So my sister was on her way to her driving test on Wednesday when she saw him driving that woman’s car (whilst hes on a ban), i took his side AGAIN. The next day more people who didn’t even know what had been going on came and told me that they had seen him with her in her car and all sorts. I told my family everything. I have never seen my mum cry the way she did but i was relieved. Relieved i was no longer dealing with this alone.
Today is the first day i haven’t cried and the first day i have held my head up high and smiled. Finding out he has been with her all weekend and she is now living in the flat we started to make a home in is killing me but at the end of it, she will spit him out and go back to her husband who gives her holidays galore, money for her hair and nails to be done and a 3 bedroom house. What my ex has is nothing, and she will soon walk.
The big question has been, will i take him back? The answer to that is NO. No matter how much it kills me to know i wont ever be with him again, im glad at the same time. No girl deserves to be treated like this and for me to get back with him would just be telling him that what he did was ok. I’ll get there, ill be strong again. My family have helped me so much and i can’t thank them enough for that. Its not even been a week but im getting stronger already, no contact with him for two days has made me feel so much better too.
So what im trying to say is no matter how much you love someone, never let them take advantage of you. Its better to hurt for a little while getting over them, than hurt constantly because they can’t be true to themselves or you.
Sorry about the major long and depressing post but i needed to get this off my chest somewhere he can’t see. I don’t want to play into his hands. The stronger i seem, the more he will realise how much of a mistake he has made.
Love you all
I’d risk having a claustrophobia induced panic attack to share an elevator with Christian Grey and Gideon Cross.
finally. sequal. after almost a whole month of being released, I finally remembered to buy the ebook. *sigh… 😍
I’d kill for you, give up everything I own for you… but I won’t give you up.
People get over love. They can live without it, they can move on. Love can be lost and found again. But that won’t happen for me. I won’t survive you. I’m obsessed with you, angel. Addicted to you. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted or needed, everything I’ve ever dreamed of. You’re EVERYTHING. I live and breathe you. For you.
im so sleepy and i got this cold so im jjust gonna..
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